Ph.D - my opinion

You have all heard "never ask a Ph.D. student when they will finish?". It's literally that never ending. 

 

So after a Ph.D., where are those fellows working? Did you know even they are called freshers in the job market. No job experience babe. Just been studying, writing grants, publishing papers and lots of research. 

The large majorities destiny is at the universities, on a long journey- Ph.D., Postdoctoral, double postdoctoral, and a far dream of a professor at almost the time of retirement, if your in sciences or engineering. Yes couple people do get into companies- but you know one could do that job with a bachelors or master degree too plus couple years of work experience. 

Other non- Indian courses (just joking- but I mean the courses that the vast majority of Indians don't pick) economics, education, arts, etc. maybe they get to be a professor a bit earlier than the engineering folks. 

Ph.D. is for the ones really interested in pure research and not in getting rich. There's hardly any great funding there. 

But yes kudos to those Ph.D. fellows out there. You guys got  a lot of great ideas and are the ones behind the unknown to be known! 

A glimpse of my school days

Believe it or not, I was the silent most girl in class. Super shy and reserved. My voice so low. 

I always loved to be friends of all. But there  were groups. And one group wouldn't talk to the other. May be I wasn't that immature like those girls. I liked to talk with all. Had one bestie with this group and one from that. Then I slowly got into one group of 3-4 girls, of which I used to talk more to only one. She is my friend till date. Will talk about her more on another day. 

I was an average student. Never participated in extra curricular activities. Math and science were interesting till tenth. I hated social sciences, especially history. Hindi was another headache. While French was my favorite. And the teacher too. I liked my science teacher as well. 

I went to school by my cycle. Never closed my eyes during prayer. Polished my white shoes with chalk. Gave pieces of my ribbons to friends who forgot to wear theirs. But promptly remembered to get the scissors to cut from my long ribbons. I hardly took any days off. Maintained a full attendance. Always took notes during class. I was always roll number one. And during oral poetry test, used to every time ask my English teacher to skip me and go with roll no 2. Haha! 

Till date I have that stage fear to stand before a class or hall of people. My voice will sink in, hardly audible. And my hand and legs would tremble. 

School reminds me of exams. And exams reminds me of copying. Yes I used to carry chits and bits of papers to the tests and exams in school. Wrote answers on the desks. Wrote formulas on my pencil pouch. Those days all that mattered was marks.. scores! Great percentages. 

I have a good handwriting that saved me most of the time. And for the finals.. I never copied then. If caught the punishment would be severe. I would carry color pens. And write in bigger font. My answer sheet pages used to be so colorful and neat. 

School days were so silly. The most unwanted things were given the most importance. Who cares about those percentages. It doesn't matter at all today. 

Opinion- annoying mom's

Before being a mom 

I hated when mom's keep talking about their kid. I would have nothing to say about it. I didn't relate to their situation. 

And there was this one mom who spoke to me about her kids poop. Ekkkssss. Oh I was pregnant by then, but still I didn't relate to it. 

Being pregnant 

I still had the same mindset about mom's who always talk about their kids- especially complaining about them. 

Being a mom 

I will definitely not annoy anyone with my babies stories. 

Nor spam fb with the pictures of her. 

Now I am interested in kids stories - read plenty of forums and comments/ posts on mom groups on how to avoid and overcome those annoying cribbing moments. No point just complaining. I am on a hunt of a good parenting style that favors my family, especially me. Letting me enjoy as well. 

E.g. She sleeps in a noisy place during the day- so I could watch movies and my mom can cook- the kitchen is the noisiest unavoidable place and then the vacuum cleaning makes much more. So a silent place for her to sleep would make it tough to do our daily chores and also she did be a very light sleeper. 

These are extra supporting points but the main thing is I get to watch movies and overlook her at the same place. (Convenience) 

The advice part 

From the day you are expecting, there tags along a never-ending bunch of advices, tips and suggestions. 

It's 50:50! Useful ones and useless ones. From day one, I heard all the things that people had to say- simultaneously filtering them to my needs and situation. If it did work for me, I take or else throw it- one ear to the other. Out it goes. 

Those advices that pour in more than once from the same person are sometimes annoying. When I am not gonna follow and they keep insisting. But I just friendly nod my head off - saying fine okay! But they don't self realize. 

I always find myself in those places when I'm in search of good advice. When needed I will ask. Instead of those days when they just pour in - Free advice - totally unrelated! 

Filtering them to match your situation is the best way to deal with them. 

The right time to have babies - My opinion

Ofcourse this topic is only for the ones who wish to have babies in the first place. 

Let me start off saying - having a child is boon. 

You are lucky if you have your kid when you wished for it. It more happens when you least expect it. 

You are gifted to have one if you had it before you expected it. 

To raise a baby is a gift from heaven. Love it and cherish every moment. 

Setting this aside. I would like to comment on My idea of the right time to have a baby and the controversy of what some friends think. 

My idea is to establish a career, know where you wanna get back to after a maternity break. So that included taking a specific work related training and traveling among a couple of healthcare companies as a validation engineer. Learning that I would love to stick to the same. But I work as a contractor. I would love to find a spot in a permanent full time job. And have a maternity break. But probably this is good too. I can stay longer with my baby whose growing up fast and needs me the most. And then look for that dream job which I have already learnt I like it. 

Others think it's better to have a kid first and then start from scratch on the job profile. But there the disadvantage would be the initial steps - of training if be and finding that right job. You would be juggling with this new baby (learning about her) and then the job in hand. 

Likewise having that baby right after your marriage to a stranger is another juggling moment. When you did be juggling between learning each other in the new relationship vs holding this huge responsibility in your hands with less intimacy. 

An initial two years is what most young couples wish for. To get to know each other. Plus on the job front- establish it before wedding or after- and if after a little time in for it. 

These are some things to consider on the emotional front. Ofcourse there's financials that you should be comfortable and ready for. And both parents-to-be to be ready to accept this huge responsibility with a lot of excitement. 

The older couples probably don't stand this chance of choice. But their career would be at a high level. And much more mature. 

Not sure if I could classify couples into older or younger. It's more into the character of each. Age would just matter for the biological clock ticking. 

It's purely my opinion. 

Invitation

An invitation could be in many forms - 

1. Word of mouth - in person or over the phone 
2. Text message - using any social media or a normal text message
3. Card - e-card via email or again any social media or physical card via post or in-person 

We generally can divide them into two categories 

1. Formal - to request with respect
2. Informal - to request in a friendly manner 

What does it consist of ? And the priority!

1. Date 
2. Time 
3. Venue 
4. Purpose (first 4 - required) 
5. Any specification - e.g. Dress code, something bring along or something's not allowed or unwanted or certain age group etc (optional) 
6. The kind words (most important) 

It's importance and expectations around it! 

An event could be as big as a wedding or as small as meeting a friend at a restaurant. It's either a family or person inviting a group or discussing with a group and inviting people over to a particular location. Whatever it did be, there's an invite with the required contents and more importantly a kind message of inviting. 

An invitation should invite! So an invitation without the kind requesting words... just don't stand being called an invitation. 

Differences in the process differ in different cultures. 

The Indian untold customs are below- 

1. The IST (Indian standard time) - pun intended- people just arrive late than the time mentioned 
2. Even if the whole family is invited, if it's a not so close friends or relatives event - only 1 or 2 people attend the occasion 
3. Friend's invites are easy- a phone call or text is good enough 
4. Whereas family and relatives usually expect much more- they usually want it in person for the elders in the family to be present 
5. A gift is always expected either in the form of cash or a present gift wrapped 
6. Gifts are never opened before the crowd 
7. Ladies and girls dress according to the occasion